Failed.........

April 5th, today is my final year project presentation day. It was a terrible day for me. I din not well prepared for my presentation Q & A sessions, and I was get shoot my all panels. I know is all my fault and carelessness, I cant blame on others even I has a worse supervisor, But still I was very disappointed to myself. I thought I'm a though person, but I'm not. For the first time, I can felt the stress and the tears just drop after presentation. I though I still can handle it and pretend like nothing after presentation, but it was not. Once I sit back to the audience seat, my friend just comfort me is over already, no worries, my tears was just drop and i cant control it. I never cry in front of my friends before, but this was the first time I cry in front of friends and I was trying so hard to stop the tears. I was crying more even after my friends comfort me. suddenly I felt that I was not that though as I thought. my friends were comfort me by told me this does not influence much for the overall result, dont so worry and I also accept the fact tht it was over, nothing can be changed. When dinner with friends, I know that they all know me was crying after presentation, so they all pretend like nothing happen. I was appreciate that as I dont wish to talk about it also. I can laugh and play with them during dinner and I thought its was over for me also. I think that I can forget it and focus of other things, but obviously not. After back from dinner, I alone at home again. I was very sleepy but I cant sleep and I cried out again. I just cant control it. 是谁说大哭一场后就会没事的，都是骗人的. I hate crying and I never cry like this before but it just cant help. I want to find someone to talk to, but until now only I realize that, I did not have a true friends which I can talk to her/him all my things and problems that I faced. I have my friends but no one can I talk to and I have no boyfriend to share my feeling also. I felt that I was lonely. I want to sleep but cant sleep, I just want someone beside me, but dun have. WHY is the thing just happen like this??? Is it all my friends just are my ' friends'. I know they are care for me, but it just happens that no one can be my true friends to talk to when things happen. At this moment, I felt that I was helpless, no matter in study, FYP, or anything. GOD please help me go through all these problems that I faced. Please dun left me behind, please always be at my side, I really need your help. I really scare that I cant continue the road that I chosen now. Is a though road and I felt that I cant handle it as times passes. It was like the road was too far and too hard for me to overtake it. just left for about 1 more month to reach end of this semester, I hope that everything will be fine.