thoughts on my mind

Am I a happy and positive thinking person? I'm been asking this question all the time to myself, and yet, i still dunoe the answer. I have been telling my self all the time, "be strong, think positively, be confident", but it just like already get too far away from me. my uni life should be ended on May 2011, my graduation convocation should be on coming 10 Sept, 2011, but i did not make it. While everyone bz finding works, go for interview, discussing bout hw much their salary is, I'm studying another semester in uni in order to graduate. I'm angry to myself for not hardworking enough all this time, disappointed to myself, keep asking my self "what had I done in this 3 years time". why my friends can graduate smoothly but I cant. Although I gt few friends that same condition as me, but all this time that we had stay together, I'm seen like a outsider to them. I miss my old friends, I'm scare to meet all my old friends, when they asking why are you nt graduating, I felt shame on me. But it seem like it is a unnecessary thought, because no one ever think of me, ask about my thing, no one ever call me, ask me how am I, what I'm doing all these days, even go out for gathering also din ask me out. YA, they had totally forgot about me. All this time, they all had been contact each other, keep in touch with everyone, but why only left me out. I keep telling myself, maybe they just forgot this time, next time will invite u. but the same things keep happening, this is not the 1st time already. why I miss them, care about them, always thinking how they been, hows life, but no one cares bout me? no one knows that a simple greeting to me is precious to me, a simple hug from you is more than words, a simple msg or calls from you give a me warm feeling, no one knows all this. So, I decided to make myself fade out from everything, pretend that I dunoe although I know what happening around them. Do like this maybe will be more comfortable for me, I might will be felt more happy when we meet again next time. I'm just hoping that this will be my last semester, and will graduate on coming Sept, my convo will be on Mac 2012.